I'm noticing that I figure out the real causes of situations now. I recall back many years ago, I couldn't do that. I would be swept up in emotion for months over something. I would obsess about those who harmed me and hurt me.
But now, I can see the spiritual cause a few hours after an event, or a day or two. But this isn't good enough. I need to see the spiritual causation at the moment of the problem.
I will write a real life example that occurred to me this past week.
The week started fine, but towards Thursday we had a problem at work. It was a project that was rushed and given to me at the last min. The expectations of upper management was that a miracle could happen. Pressure was put on all of us to "just get this out to production." Which we did, but then (now) have a problem. I gave up lunches, weekends for this project and it was in no real shape to go live, but upper management just pushed on it to squeeze it out. Now we had a bug.
The problem was a big one. A big bug. So, I worked 15 hours on the bug fix. I didn't get dinner with my wife and I, till 11pm. I wasn't in the best moods. I felt this would come back to me as blame. I was stressed, fearful, angry... a lot of bad feelings going on.
When my wife and i got back from dinner (around 12:20am) I had to work on a separate project. That's a 16hr day now. I finished up, went to bed and went to work.
I meditated in the morning and it helped me get passed the emotions in that moment - but a 10min meditation doesn't cover a multitude of problems. As I was driving to work, I had a bout of road anger. I lost it (as seen in a post here a few days back.) I finally got to work - now feeling guilty for my loss of anger. Only to get a tap on my shoulder to go to a meeting.
In that meeting a upper management entity is lambasting us for the bug that was in production. He tells us he's disappointed and just can't believe we had this error in production. He throws a few stones like "other issues we should have caught also." He tells us he will take responsibility but he blames us.
Many would say "you had every right being angry. He told you to push that live, when you were finding bugs saying he already tested this throughoughly..." That's what i was feeling. That's what made me so angry. All that hard work, lost, and not recognized. All that was remembered was an error - that was created in part, by upper management forcing something live.
Then as I sat at my desk, I started thinking: Do I just study spirituality? or is it my life? Shouldn't I see a spiritual lesson here? After all this is the forth major boss in my life who's been like this.
I began listening to Radio Ananda and feeling so wonderful. There was a reading from the Gita - and it directly spoke to me... which I put the synopsis in a post on Friday.
That's when an email came to me from a teacher at Ananda. As I read it, it reminded me of my purpose.
I began looking at this situation and a few hours later, I realized - I can't be angry with upper management. It's them I should feel empathy for. Their actions are not against me. They are to free me. Everything in my life is a projection to help me get past the spiritual problems I suffer from. Like my ego.
But on a less deep note, those who are being used to free me, incur for themselves problems. So feel compassion for those like this upper management. We all have examples in our lives of people like this, who blame us, or look down on us - BUT those actions don't hurt us. We, spiritual followers, are breakign free of our body identification. What could they possibly do to cause harm? It is they, who are identified with the body, who are harming themselves. As they get the karma for their actions they will suffer. So we, who are here for only one reason:
To bring people to God
Should try and help them. Pray for them. Have compassion for them. Speak no ill of them. Just love them, as God would want.
The karmic return of ego, self gratification, delusion - is more of the same. Either in business, personal lives, family... The return will come - and people like this are identified with their bodies - they will be the ones who see this suffering come back in the world.
Let me not be like that... so I choose to break free and love the ones who are affected by the world, and remember I am unaffected.
It's a great realization - I need to get to this point IN THE MOMENT, next time (and there will be a next time, until I get it right) rather then wait hours or days to come to understand this.
But now, I can see the spiritual cause a few hours after an event, or a day or two. But this isn't good enough. I need to see the spiritual causation at the moment of the problem.
I will write a real life example that occurred to me this past week.
The week started fine, but towards Thursday we had a problem at work. It was a project that was rushed and given to me at the last min. The expectations of upper management was that a miracle could happen. Pressure was put on all of us to "just get this out to production." Which we did, but then (now) have a problem. I gave up lunches, weekends for this project and it was in no real shape to go live, but upper management just pushed on it to squeeze it out. Now we had a bug.
The problem was a big one. A big bug. So, I worked 15 hours on the bug fix. I didn't get dinner with my wife and I, till 11pm. I wasn't in the best moods. I felt this would come back to me as blame. I was stressed, fearful, angry... a lot of bad feelings going on.
When my wife and i got back from dinner (around 12:20am) I had to work on a separate project. That's a 16hr day now. I finished up, went to bed and went to work.
I meditated in the morning and it helped me get passed the emotions in that moment - but a 10min meditation doesn't cover a multitude of problems. As I was driving to work, I had a bout of road anger. I lost it (as seen in a post here a few days back.) I finally got to work - now feeling guilty for my loss of anger. Only to get a tap on my shoulder to go to a meeting.
In that meeting a upper management entity is lambasting us for the bug that was in production. He tells us he's disappointed and just can't believe we had this error in production. He throws a few stones like "other issues we should have caught also." He tells us he will take responsibility but he blames us.
Many would say "you had every right being angry. He told you to push that live, when you were finding bugs saying he already tested this throughoughly..." That's what i was feeling. That's what made me so angry. All that hard work, lost, and not recognized. All that was remembered was an error - that was created in part, by upper management forcing something live.
Then as I sat at my desk, I started thinking: Do I just study spirituality? or is it my life? Shouldn't I see a spiritual lesson here? After all this is the forth major boss in my life who's been like this.
I began listening to Radio Ananda and feeling so wonderful. There was a reading from the Gita - and it directly spoke to me... which I put the synopsis in a post on Friday.
That's when an email came to me from a teacher at Ananda. As I read it, it reminded me of my purpose.
I began looking at this situation and a few hours later, I realized - I can't be angry with upper management. It's them I should feel empathy for. Their actions are not against me. They are to free me. Everything in my life is a projection to help me get past the spiritual problems I suffer from. Like my ego.
But on a less deep note, those who are being used to free me, incur for themselves problems. So feel compassion for those like this upper management. We all have examples in our lives of people like this, who blame us, or look down on us - BUT those actions don't hurt us. We, spiritual followers, are breakign free of our body identification. What could they possibly do to cause harm? It is they, who are identified with the body, who are harming themselves. As they get the karma for their actions they will suffer. So we, who are here for only one reason:
To bring people to God
Should try and help them. Pray for them. Have compassion for them. Speak no ill of them. Just love them, as God would want.
The karmic return of ego, self gratification, delusion - is more of the same. Either in business, personal lives, family... The return will come - and people like this are identified with their bodies - they will be the ones who see this suffering come back in the world.
Let me not be like that... so I choose to break free and love the ones who are affected by the world, and remember I am unaffected.
It's a great realization - I need to get to this point IN THE MOMENT, next time (and there will be a next time, until I get it right) rather then wait hours or days to come to understand this.
