Today I lost my temper. Actually for the last two weeks, I've been seething in anger. But today I vented on my wife.
For the past month, my entire team quit at work (my manager, co-workers, etc.) It's put me has holding a huge burden... and the workload went sky high.
The result was I was not meditating, not doing yoga... and just trying to repress this frustration. I just thought, "it's only one more day" or "one more week... just keep it together and then you can go back to a spiritual life."
But today it finally came out. I was driving back from a Dr. appointment for our son, and my wife asked me a question. I answered her, and she didn't like my answer so she asked again, and then i got frustrated and said something mean. She got angry, which got me angry... and then she wasn't talking to me.
My flaw here is for a variety of reasons:
First, I should never have stopped the spiritual work. Instead I should have increased it.But working to midnight, and getting up early, I didn't know how to fit it in. I should have made time.
Second, I forgot that the only reason I work, is to support my wife. What good is it to do a good job if I loose what I'm working for (my wife, and family)?
Third, I need to be more in tune with my states of mind. The moment I started dipping down, I should have stopped and said "ok you're getting frustrated... calm down." - Meditating more should help with that.
I apologized to her today... but I don't think she has accepted my apology yet.
For the past month, my entire team quit at work (my manager, co-workers, etc.) It's put me has holding a huge burden... and the workload went sky high.
The result was I was not meditating, not doing yoga... and just trying to repress this frustration. I just thought, "it's only one more day" or "one more week... just keep it together and then you can go back to a spiritual life."
But today it finally came out. I was driving back from a Dr. appointment for our son, and my wife asked me a question. I answered her, and she didn't like my answer so she asked again, and then i got frustrated and said something mean. She got angry, which got me angry... and then she wasn't talking to me.
My flaw here is for a variety of reasons:
First, I should never have stopped the spiritual work. Instead I should have increased it.But working to midnight, and getting up early, I didn't know how to fit it in. I should have made time.
Second, I forgot that the only reason I work, is to support my wife. What good is it to do a good job if I loose what I'm working for (my wife, and family)?
Third, I need to be more in tune with my states of mind. The moment I started dipping down, I should have stopped and said "ok you're getting frustrated... calm down." - Meditating more should help with that.
I apologized to her today... but I don't think she has accepted my apology yet.
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