Practice: This morning

This morning, in AUM, I heard a couple notes as though played by an instrument.  Also heard the words, "Heavenly Father" - my mind at that moment had drifted and was thinking of some TV show i had been seeing lately about hauntings.   Maybe this was my way of getting back to a God focused frame of mind.

I'm finding holding my arms up to be difficult.  I need elbow rests. 

Practice: Today's AUM and Meditation

Today:
This morning I struggled
Then I practiced
     Energy Exercises
     Pranayam
     AUM
          AUM - so far didn't hear much.  Heard a rumble from the ears.  Then a soft sizzle.  I felt my pulse in the ears.
    Meditation

I went out with the family.  I was relaxed, but then throughout the day, I started getting frustrated.  My frustration started at lunchtime when I wasn't finding something appropriate to eat.  Then I was frustrated by a family of people that took my table at lunch.  Finally, when we left the parking lot, we had to wait 20min to get out of there due to some problem in the parking lot.  When I finally got to the point of leaving, I got frustrated and vented out in anger.

Later in the evening I did:
EE
P
AUM
Meditation

In inner communion, Romans 8:28 came to mind.

All things work together for good...

In meditation tonight, this old Bible verse came to my mind:

Romans 8:28 And we know that all things work together for good to them that love God, to them who are the called according to his purpose.

I interpret it as meaning all things ultimately are good.  Even events that appear or are interpreted as bad - are opportunities for us to overcome them.  All problems are opportunities.  From the Eastern paths, karma is simply action.  Every action has a reaction.  Every situation we have, are paths to greatness.  Each person is more then their body.  Their life essence is a eternal thing born again and again.  It's not about a simple life and death and eternity after.  It's always eternal.  The lessons we need to go through are repeated again and again. If we overcome the problem, it doesn't need to be repeated.

All things then, are to our benefit.  It may not seem like it, but keep in mind that what we experience in this life is as a dream to our true self. 

in Meditation Today: two realizations

In meditation today, I meditated on Paramhansa Yogananda... and in this meditation he gave me two realizations:

a) FIRST: during my meditation (and through my days) my mind plays out dramas or daydreams, that are of negative consequences to issues I face in my life.  Like worst possible outcomes.  It brings on anxiety, fear, anger, frustration, mistrust and the like.  What I felt in my heart, was that I need to stop these negative feelings because I bring the very things I'm not wanting, into my life.  The way to do this, is when a fear or anxiety arises within the mind - to great it with,  "If this is God's will, I will be ready for it."  Not to dwell on the situation, or avoid it.  To simply turn it over to God - which is what my Mother used to always tell me about problems in my life.  Now I see she was right.

b) SECOND: to stop playing the role of victim.  Many times, my mind plays out dramas where I imagine myself going in to work, or talking with a family member or friend - and being a victim - like "Friend: How was your weekend?" and I respond, "OH... let me tell you about it... I worked all weekend..."  Not only do I play this out in my mind, but I act it out in real life.  I constantly do this, so that I get sympathy or attention.  I need to stop playing the victim.  The trick here is not to be too happy nor depressed about any situation that was negative.  But to be neutral.  To say "I handled it." and say it with peace is best.  To not go into details, or lead people to dig with questions to find some problem.  But to be honest, and neutral.

Spiritual Progress

Signs of Spiritual Progress:

The basis of all true progress is right attitude.  If you are becoming more kind, more self-giving, more calm, you may be sure that you are progressing whether you see visions or not.  If you are succeeding in relinquishing your likes and dislikes, and are learning to accept even-mindedly whatever experiences life sends you, then you have much cause for rejoicing.  If you find that you have fewer and fewer desires for things of this world, know that youa re truly finding freedom.  And more important still, if your love for God is growing ever deeper, know that you are fast approaching Him.  And if through all the trails of life you always feel joy inwardly,  a joy that nothing can shake, know that you have Him already to a wonderful degree.

From "The Art and Science of Raja Yoga."

The Three Gunas

There are three gunas: Sattwic, Rajasic and Tamasic.

Swami Kriyananda, in The Art and Science of Raja Yoga, gives an example of these as:
Sattwic is Spiritual and like forward moving in a car.
Rajasic is an Activating force but it neither moves one forward or backwards. It is like neutral in a car
Tamasic is a pull away from God

Under the influence of this guna [Rajas] the mind seeks diversity rather than definite direction.  In this attachment to diversity it may drift toward a greater affinity for things and people, and thus toward that sense of underlying unity with them which is sattwic; or it may drift more and more toward a sense of distinctions, of rivalry and oppositions, and thus sink gradually into the spiritual chaos of tamas.  Raja guna gives objectifying power to both sattwa and tamas.  For tamasic people, it represents the necessary steppingstone to sattwa guna; for sattwic people, it represents the first pull away from spiritual reality, carrying them into worldly involvements that in themselves are more or less neutral, but that can also develop into that kind of ardent dedication to self-gratification which is the main entrance, so to speak, to the outward-moving stream of tamo guna.

Further along in the reading we see the three guna's also have small versions of the other guna's within themselves - much like the concept of spiritual elements in the West and East... like Air of Earth, or Earth of Water and so on... the text reads:

In sattwa, as I have said, there is also a touch of rajas and tamas, and in tamas there is a touch of rajas and sattwa.  In rajas, too, the other two gunas are present.  All things, I said, are a mixture of the three gunas.  It is the predominance of one guna or another that defines a thing as basically sattwic, rajasic, or tamasic.

Quotes from The Art and Science of Raja Yoga, by Swami Kriyananda.

The Divine Ocean

The closer one's consciousness is to the divine ocean, the more he senses the inner unity of all things, and the more naturally therefore he lives at peace with the universe.  The more one's mind is drawn to the ceaseless play of duality, the more he beholds everything in conflict with everything else, and consequently the less harmony he finds in himself and in others.  Low waves, close to the ocean bosom, are more suggestive of the calm ocean depths than tall waves crashing together in a storm.  The consciousness of humble, spiritual people is still a part of universal duality, but the love and joy they express is a self-giving love, a joy not in specific things, but in the Self.  The more, however, one concentrates on the storm of duality, the more the divine quality of love becomes broken up into numberless desires and attachments, and joy into a host of petty enthusiasms.  Where the waves rise high, their corresponding troughs are deeper by that much.  Where love is broken up into many worldly desires, it wil manifest as antipathies: Likes are inevitably balanced by dislikes. If one's likes are intense, one's dislikes will be intense also. 

From The Art and Science of Raja Yoga by Swami Kriyananda

Anger

Today I lost my temper.  Actually for the last two weeks, I've been seething in anger.  But today I vented on my wife.

For the past month, my entire team quit at work (my manager, co-workers, etc.)  It's put me has holding a huge burden... and the workload went sky high.

The result was I was not meditating, not doing yoga... and just trying to repress this frustration.  I just thought, "it's only one more day" or "one more week... just keep it together and then you can go back to a spiritual life."

But today it finally came out.  I was driving back from a Dr. appointment for our son, and my wife asked me a question.  I answered her, and she didn't like my answer so she asked again, and then i got frustrated and said something mean.  She got angry, which got me angry... and then she wasn't talking to me.

My flaw here is for a variety of reasons:
First, I should never have stopped the spiritual work.  Instead I should have increased it.But working to midnight, and getting up early, I didn't know how to fit it in.  I should have made time.
Second, I forgot that the only reason I work, is to support my wife.  What good is it to do a good job if I loose what I'm working for (my wife, and family)?
Third, I need to be more in tune with my states of mind.  The moment I started dipping down, I should have stopped and said "ok you're getting frustrated... calm down." - Meditating more should help with that.

I apologized to her today... but I don't think she has accepted my apology yet.

To question a teacher, Master or Path

Is it right to question a teacher?

I think this is an appropriate question.  It's the core of what it means to be a Disciple.  Many would think that being a Disciple means giving up total control to the Master... While others want to remain an individual and question everything - and never doing anything. 

But what's right?

What has sparked this post of mine, is a reoccurring theme in the followers of  a certain teacher, who have come here to post comments on my posts.  I don't mind the comments.  I welcome all feelings and thoughts.  But the comments generally have a feeling of an idea of not questioning or even trying to reason their teacher's actions.

One such Disciple of a modern day teacher, posted whats below.  He was commenting on a post I wrote about how a certain teacher appeared to have some questionable characteristics.  Money, was one thing that concerned me and another item was some teachings I witnessed him say that were a bit unorthodox. To my questioning nature, this person commented:

In my search for my Guru, I was willing to give up everything to find him or her. The fact that you are even taking so many things into account may show you are not yet ready to find your Guru. There is a madness about someone when they are really looking for their Guru. Nothing else matters. You would die just to get a glimpse of their face, to hear their voice, to touch their feet. It was Ram Gopal who said in Yogananda's book, "As soon as the devotee is willing to go even to the ends of the earth for spiritual enlightenment, his guru appears near-by."

If you have this kind of madness, your will find your Master. I promise you from my own personal experience brother.

The key thing here that worried me was his reference and description to 'madness.'    He then quotes Yogananda's book.  But the quote doesn't speak to this same 'madness' he describes himself being affected by.  It's one thing to be ready to go anywhere to find a Master (as Yogananda quotes.)  It's quite another, to give up one's free will and embrace madness - Madness is just that: it's forfeiting one's will.  That's what madness is.

Perhaps it was a poor choice of words by the commenter, but it's an interesting comment.  Is it ever right to question a Master?  Today another follower of the same living teacher (a proclaimed living Guru of our age) I was talking about, posted on another old article of mine... and again they expected me to accept their Master as mine, not to question his actions no matter what.  They stated that the Masters can not be reasoned or questioned. Which sparked this question.  Is it right, to look at a self proclaimed Guru and say "Ah, it's suspicious these actions - but he says he's a Guru, so I shall not look deeper.  I will just let what ever happens, happen"?

First, i believe before someone is your Master (and you the Disciple) you will have to question them.  What separates their teaching from someone dangerous?  Or someone wanting your money?  After all, if you didn't question the first person you came upon, you might fall into the hands of a Jim Jones - or a David Karesh.

When I took the Discipleship Course for Yogananda via Ananda - from teacher Nyaswami Pranaba, I asked him this very question.  He gave me this Great advice:

There's an important distinction between "constructive doubt" and "negative doubt" (which ties into rebelliousness). Constructive doubt allows us the ability to not just jump into something with blind belief but rather gives the opportunity to explore what the truth or essence of things are. This is very important for a devotee in order to integrate spiritual teachings rather than just accepting dogmas with a deeper understanding and experience....

and he also added, regarding Loyalty:

As I wrote earlier regarding "constructive doubt" - loyalty also has the need for common sense. Our role is to keep open to God and guru but be able to make it our own experience.

I agree with this.  I think he answered it well. There are stories of people abusing others financially, sexually, or just making slaves to fulfill their hungry ego. 

When I was in a member of a modern day "sci-fi" religion, I experienced this financial abuse first-hand.  I was called upon to give up thousands of dollars.  At times even forced to give up money - yelled at, and had demands put upon me.

We have to have constructive doubt, at least enough to reason this out and ask: "Is this the actions of a Guru... a Master... a True Religion?"

Conclusion:
To question everything to the point of rebellion - is NOT the way of a Disciple.  But to except what's taught or told, as dogma, indoctrination and to see it as "superior" to the path of others without reason... is equally wrong. The balance here, is to follow the Master in things we know to be true.  If a Teacher or Master asks us to do something we know to be false... that's cause for attention.

Which is why, Madness, IMO is not the way to a teacher - nor to God.

The Ego and the Spiritual Path(s)

The ego, is simply the "self" identified with the body.  That is, your eternal true self (that which is non physical - the soul - the spiritual essence of you) identified as your physical form.  Nothing more... nothing less.

When this identification happens, the individual thinks of their world as part of their body experience.  Their surroundings, their personal experiences, and so on.  This is what egocentric really is.  It's seeing the world in relationship to their limited perspective.

This perspective is limited, because it is not from a large enough perspective.  When looking at "truth" from the perspective of the physical body or even mental state one associates to their body being, then truth becomes skewed.  Truth then only accepts what has occurred for this person.  Not for the larger person/perspective.

Thus, if a person has a spiritual experience as a Muslim - they say, "This was a real experience for me" (and so it was) "therefore it's reality for all."  The Christian likewise would say, "I felt the presence of God" (and so they did) "therefore this path is the only path to God."  It breaks down further to "I go to this Christian church that really inspires me, therefore it must be more inspirational then these other Christian churches."

That's all ego.

Ego is beyond religion. Ego also says, "I harmonize with the democratic political party, therefore that's the only intelligent way of solving our problems."  That's ego.

Where this is at fault, is if we simply expanded our vision, beyond the body, we would see that all these paths are fine.  There is no need to convert anyone.  Simply to ask others to find God in their own way would suffice.

Fear, stress, desire... all this is ego.  If one is not identified with the body, there is no fear.  There is no stress.  There is no desire (apart from the desire of God.)

In the East this identification with the body is often referred to as part of Maya (or Delusion.) 

Handling the Ego
A way of handling the ego is to (ironically) withdraw into the self.  That seems odd right?  If the ego is identification with the body, then why withdraw into the body?  Because, withdrawing into the self, is not withdrawing into the body.

The self is not the Body.  What is external to you, is actually part of your ego identification.  The Buddhists say, "Emptiness is Form and Form is Emptiness" which really means everything is a product of your karma and your point of reference.  If you look at the president you see a savior, and someone else see's a villain. 

Our external world, IS our identification with the body.  It IS the Ego expression itself.  For we do not see the "true" world, but only the world as our karma paints it to be. 

By going inward, we tap into a greater reality, that is our true nature.  It's larger in scope then this body.  Through this inward walk we commune with God. 

This inward journey is through meditation.  That doesn't mean there's only an eastern way of finding God.  Meditation is neither eastern nor western.  It's a tool to achieve this inward communion.

To be balanced, means to not be overly excited, nor stressed.  To not run around with extreme giddiness nor to be morose or fearful.  When we center, inwardly, we find peace. 

Let go of the potential outcomes.  Do your duty (job, as a spouse, as a employee, as a employer, as a human being) but if you succeed or fail, realize it's ok either way.  It's not apathy.  Apathy doesn't try.  Love the effort, but don't attach to the outcome.  All outcomes are from God.  All outcomes teach something, deeper then the ego can recognize. 

Awake and Ready

When Master Paramhansa Yogananda would come onto a stage to address an audience, he would often ask something like "How is everyone?"  The audience would reply loudly and crisply, "Awake and Ready!"

While the response would help wake up a audience, I also think there's a deeper meaning to the phrase Awake and Ready.

Awake and Ready is a state we should strive to be in every moment.  It is the state of present awareness.  That is to say, present awareness of God.

In meditation today, it started to make sense to me.  God is here now.  He isn't coming at some future point.  He is here, right now, in my life - in your life - in the lives of all of humanity (those we love and those we don't.)  He is here, Now.

To be Awake and Ready - isn't a future statement, it's a Now statement.  That I am awake and ready to be attuned to God right now.

In practical terms, this means that even though I may go through a tough time, difficult situation - I will not fall into the delusion of past or future thinking.  I wont fall into the delusion of "stress" and "fear" but will be Awake and Ready to God.

Take for example my job recently.  With short staff and higher work load, it's easy to fall into fear and stress and think "Man, why do they make so many demands of me?!"  or "I just need to get this done... i keep getting distracted... if i dont get this done, it will be bad..."

Instead of that mentality, if I were Awake and Ready - I would simply do the job at hand, as it changes, as it evolves, but would not have fear or stress.  I would be Awake and Ready to God's presence, which is already here, right now.

This returns to the last post in this blog on Nishkam Karma - or, "Desireless Action."  When we are Awake and Ready, we have Desireless action.  That doesn't mean we have no desires, but that our desires are in harmony with the Divine (or you could think of it as terms of your highest true will - or in tune with the Universe.)  The point being, it's not desires of the external world that will help us - but it's the inner desires of God prompting us right now, that will be our salvation.  It's the road out of bondage.  Having a new computer, new car, new wife, new husband, new toy will not bring lasting joy - but being in tune with the Divine and the desires of God, will certainly bring joy and harmony and be the bridge to freedom that we all seek (wether we know it or not.)