Refuge in Listening

Several Weeks ago, I had this experience while driving in my car. I was driving home... and vexed with thoughts... then I tuned in to life, and turned off my thoughts. I wrote the experience in my journal. Posting here, in case it's useful for others:

Journal from May 5, 2011:
I had a bit of a great moment tonight when I was driving home. I had a rough day. Work was stressful. It was busy. I learned I had to work the weekend. Just a lot of stuff to bum me out.

So there, I was leaving the job in my car - windows down. Driving home, along Neilson Way in Santa Monica, and I found my thoughts were all over the place. So I began listening. I listened to the sound the cars in the opposite lane made, when they passed me. I tuned into the swish of the air, and the roll of their tires against pavement. Then my attention was brought to a single bird, chirping a tune while perched on a house. Something I probably would have overlooked in the past. But by active listening to the sounds around me, I was tuned into a lot of things I would normally overlook. I began to feel at total peace. I heard a dog bar, people talking, cars driving by, birds chirping. Even in this urban landscape, I was tuned into the living nature of the environment. All the stress from the day was gone. All worries of the future were gone.

When I heard the bird, I didn't make it into a thought object. I didn't think "oh there's a bird on a house, doing this or that.." instead I just took it in, without any judgment good or bad. The same with all the sounds. I just observed. In this observation I came to peace in the moment.

Manny years ago, when I took Buddhist vows, my Lama told us that the word Dharma meant several things for a Buddhist. For a Buddhist it could reference spiritual teachings. It could also refer to 'everything.' We also learned about Refuge. To a Buddhist, the Dharma is a refuge object. A place one can find peace. Through listening, I found the present Dharma. Through observing it, I took refuge in it.

I began to feel that the sounds of my environment woke me up to the living dharma around me, and in that process I was taking refuge. Not through some outward ritual, or sitting meditation - but simply in awakening to the present moment.

To put it simply, I felt good, listening to the world around me. It brought me peace to sit and listen and observe life, as I drove home.