Three Modalities of Awakened Doing

In "A New Earth," by Eckhart Tolle, he speaks of this concept of Awakened Doing. It's an aspect of being fully aware and conscious while doing the things in life.

Eckhart Tolle see's three modalities as part of this new consciousness in our every actions:
1. Acceptance
2. Enjoyment
3. Enthusiasm

By these three modalities consciousness enters our lives. His goal for us, is to have at least one of these modalities active during any action we do.

Acceptance is a modality of accepting the situation - You may have a flat tire... you don't have to be enthusiastic about it. You may not enjoy changing this tire. But you can accept it. You willingly do the actions of putting on a new tire, calling a tow truck, etc. No negative thoughts.

Enjoyment
Regarding this, Eckhart explains that this will replace the old ego desires and wanting. For this, Tolle explains that you will Enjoy any activity that is not just a means to an end... an activity where you are fully aware. It reminds me of something Crowley was inspired to write, "Pure will, unassuaged of purpose, free from the lust of result, is in every way perfect." It's that Lust of Result we're talking about here. If you have the lust of result, you are not in the present moment. You are off in the future. You are looking for end goals. Your present moment is just a means to an end. But if you are presently aware... if you have heightened awareness in the moment, you will have peace and enjoyment.

Tolle gives a challenge here. He asks the reader to write out a list of actions the reader doesn't like... tedious activities, stressful actions, etc. Once the list is written out, Tolle asks the reader to then keep that list in mind and when doing one of these activities to stay in a state of heightened awareness. This, as he says, will open enjoyment of the activity into the person's life.

Enthusiasm
When you take the Enjoyment and combine it with a vision or goal to work towards... you have Enthusiasm. This isn't working towards a goal and forgetting the moment. No. It's knowing a goal, setting the things needed to get there... and in each part of the goal - being in a state of enjoyment (being actively aware in the moment.) This creates Enthusiasm.

A key concept here, is to make sure your vision or goal isn't an image of yourself having something static. Such a goal won't empower you. Make sure the goal or vision is dynamic... it's pointing to an activity which connects you to other people and to humanity as a whole. This type of goal will empower you. He gives an example of, "Instead of seeing yourself as a famous actor and writer and so on, see yourself inspiring countless people with your work and enriching their lives."

Ananda Online Virtual Community is Great

To anyone looking for an online community of spiritual people, I highly recommend the Ananda Online Virtual Community (www.anandaonlineclasses.org)

I've found the people to be really friendly. The lessons to be rich and valuable. Video streams of all their events. It's great.

A lot of online spiritual communities stopped interaction between members. Online communication sometimes is problematic. But something special happens here. People are so positive here.

Dreams

I've been having these dreams, and I wake up in the middle of the night and I feel like it was a intense message or something. I try to hold on to the memory of the dream, but it quickly dissolves.

Watching People

I noticed this awhile. Maybe others have seen it to.

Many times I would go out with my Father or friends and sit and watch people. People Watching. However, it was generally done (with my friends) with some form of judgement. Laughing at the silliness or difference in others. Mockery and judgement.

But then one day, I just noticed people. Without judgement. I just watched. I just watched and watched. When I had no thoughts... when the mind went quiet. When the thoughts ended. Then I saw people without judgement... and when that happened, I felt this intense Love and Joy for them. An intense respect.

Recently, this past weekend, my wife and I went to a Casino - Chumash Casino. It was amazing. What was amazing, was for a moment, I saw people without judgement. Here as I walked around, I watched people. I saw them playing. Some laughing, some with desire all over their face. I felt their humanity. It reached deep inside of me.

I had this intense joy. This amazing experience.

Meditation and the draining of Electronic devices

This is going to sound weird.

I sat down in meditation, and had a guided medtation playing on my iPhone. it sat on the floor in front of me. I was in a half-lotus position and I began body relaxation and mind relaxation. AT a certain point the speaker asks the meditator to think of the area between they eyebrows... and if we see a Light (in our mind's eye) to dive into it, and explore it... feel it.

I did see a mental imagine of a LIght and as I went into it and deeper and deeper... I got this amazing sensation of power. tremlbling overtook my muscles in my hands... it felt like a vibration at the spot.

At this moment, my fully charged iPhone, went dead. Confused, I picked it up and pressed the on/off button. nothing. I tried restarting it... nothing. I held down the buttons for 30 seconds... nothing.

I put it down and imagined Yogananda and wanted to ask questions to Him and see what I feel. I asked, "is this Yogiraj Sidhanath for real?" (i couldn't remember his last name.) I felt the answer, "well go and see." and then I asked "but I dont want to be controlled" "Good. then don't be controlled" I felt the mental response. "But how can I make sure I don't get controlled or duped?" "Just be aware."

I got up with the phone. I walked over and plugged the phone in... nothing. Then in my mind I felt like the mental projection of Yogananda was saying, "Your energy blew out the phone. Leave the it alone for awhile. Go eat something to ground you..." I went and found some chocolate. ate it. after finishing, I felt the inner voice prompt, "Ok now check on the phone" I tried to reboot it again, and this time it came on!

As the phone came up, I checked the battery power - it was nearly full. It never had drained at all. Maybe the phone did blow out. But that's crazy... or is it?

First Week with Ananda Online Virtual Community

I have to say, I'm pretty impressed with the Ananda Online Virtual Community (www.anandaonlineclasses.org.)

They have a very active presence. Everything is video streamed over the internet. They offer a lot of Live content in the form of classes and lectures. Like three or more live streaming classes and events a week.

The teachings are sound and it's a very positive place.

I'm taking the Meditation Course to see how it goes. I'm on the first week. It's good. I've been doing many forms of meditation for many years. What's interesting, is their form has most of the meditation actions I've enjoyed in the past. I also picked up new things as well.

I've really enjoyed it. I'm not cut out to go live in a physical spiritual community - so having a virtual one, is for me, the next best thing. If you're interested in taking some classes, hearing more of Yogananda's philosophy, or want to associate with open minded spiritual believers, I think it's well worth the small fee.

Brahma Kumaris

I dont know much about this group. Someone sent me a note on Twitter about them. They recommended them.

I'll go ahead and forward the link: http://www.bkwsu.org

I looked it over, but the site didn't give me enough information. I think I would need to contact someone to hear more. I do see they have a local group in Los Angeles. One thing that was impressive, was all their courses are Free.

Scientology's Dynamics compared to Chakra's

I was listening to Ram Dass the other day, while taking a lunch break walk. In this Talk on Service by Ram Dass (avail via iTunes) he talked about the Chakra's. He was talking about the Chakra's from the of view of the first being the energy focused with meeting one's own needs. The second extends this to others, the third even more and on and on.

It brought to mind when I was in Scientology. I had been a member in 2007 and I left the organization by the end of the year. In that time though I learned their view of the "8 Dynamics." It was nearly identical to the concept Ram Dass was talking about. The first dynamic was the energy of the individual meeting his/her own needs. The 2nd dynamic was meeting the needs of the family, etc. As the dynamic increased so did the view.

I found it interesting and thought this is perhaps where Hubbard got the idea of the Dynamics.

Just listened to Swami Kriyananda

I was tuning into the last broadcast of Swami Kriyananda from Ananda Village in Nevada City - via www.anandaonlineclasses.org

Tonight was his last live lecture before he travels overseas and returns back next year.

He seems like a very kind and sweet person. He also has a great wisdom.

One thing he talked about was the purity of a belief. Any belief changes over time. He gave examples of Christianity - where the beliefs have changed and not been followed over the years. He warned that this could happen to anyone or any belief system.

When I was in my Tibetan Buddhist group: www.aci-la.org many years ago... Lama Marut said the same thing. That over time these groups loose the original way, and give to a more lax way.

But on the other hand, without change, many things would be lost. For example, at one time, society and religion condemned lifestlyes and races. As society gained more acceptance, these were brought into the social and religious aspects of society.

So i'm not convinced that change in general is bad for a group. I also see his point that he doesn't want the core belief to change over time and loose it's potency.

I am not the victim of the world I see.

I am not a victim of the world I see.

This is my student work in ACIM today. Actually I've been meaning to work on it the past few days. Today I got up this morning and ran through this... as previously, the day before I found myself feeling a victim.

Yesterday, I had a situation at work, where I was pushed, and pushed and pushed - stayed late on demand. I felt others were really pulling my strings and I was being a "victim." Then when we got 'really late' they decided they would release without my work after all. It was somewhat crushing.

But today I read this phrase and ponder it. Ponder it both externally and internally: I am not the victim of the world I see.

It's true. I'm not. I'm not the victim of the world I see. So what is this business that upsets me?

It's lessons. Life lessons. How did I react to the pressure at work last night? not very well. I got angry internally. I expressed some of this anger to those I work with, and with my wife. I was pissed. I cussed. Internally I was in a rage of emotion. I was upset i stayed late for no reason. I was angry with those around me.

So I was given a Lesson - and I didn't pass. I wasn't calm. I didn't see it in the moment as a Lesson. I saw it as oppressiveness, and I was it's victim. But I wasn't the victim, not really. Only by perception was I the victim.

Another perception is that this was my Karma. Have I made demands on others? Have I dismissed the work of others? Have I pushed people? Yes.

Now the lesson comes to me, and I missed it as a Lesson. I saw it as an external thing working against me. But really I could have just as easily seen it as something working for me.

I am not the victim of the world I see.

Meditation on Yogananda

In meditation tonight, I visualized Yogananda and my Ajna center. I felt these words, "Keep your heart open and your mind aware."

seems like good advice!

Yogiraj Gurunath Siddhanath

In my search, I've come across this name:
Yogiraj Gurunath Siddhanath
I first saw an advertisement for this guy on Facebook (which was both interesting and discouraging.)

However, I clicked and read and listened.

Part of me feels, "Ok this guy seems cool," and part of me goes, "Ok this guy is a scam." The cost of the weekend retreats, at over $800 is a tip off to my negative nature - that something is up. My positive nature is latching onto all the glowing reviews. Few people have anything negative to say about the man.

I noticed the cost for Kriya empowerments is a lot less then $800. If you don't do a weekend retreat, and just go in, it's $108. That's more reasonable, but - what if that's the tip of the iceberg?

Will this end up like another Scientology experiment? Will I get phone calls hounding me for events, merchandise and expecting donations in the thousands?

It's a hard call. I actually got an email from a nice guy representing Yogiraj Gurunath Siddhanath. The rep said I could call him. I haven't. I'm somewhat scared to call him. Scared of being cornered into a meeting and pressured into giving some amount of money. I'm not saying he would do that, but I'd like to experience the group without having to show up to something. like see where they meet, see online classes...

At any rate, he has glowing reviews. People claim the amazing, the miraculous and the mystical. I want to check it out. But I'm nervous.

A day after Ananda Meditation - and the daily Job...

When I went to work today, I had a situation where I was in a meeting and had to vote on several proposals. I was veto'd on almost everything. But it didn't worry me. I was at peace. The night before, I started with the Ananda Meditation course. I was at peace from the night before, during the meditation. When I got to the work, I still had that peace.

AFter the 3rd or so veto, someone in the room said, "Brian... how do you feel about it?" I simply smiled and said, "I'm fine." Again, veto'd again my decisions turned down. Again I answered, "I'm fine" with a smile.

"You must have had SOME AMAZING weekend" someone joked. I just smiled and nodded. They laughed.

Again, and again, decisions went against me. Finally, someone said, "Is it the 7 Up he's drinking? Brian whatever you did this weekend, I want a piece."

I just laughed.

A Dream of Ghosts

Last night I had a dream that I remembered upon awaking.

In the dream I was in a different house. A larger home. There was an extra bedroom where my wife's friend Terri lived. She evidently was staying with us (which she doesn't now.)

I heard my wife's voice in the kitchen... and I said something about going into "Terri's room." I was looking for something.

As I went in, I shut the door... and found what i was looking for. I turned and at my feet was a tennis ball. "odd," I thought. I picked it up and felt a presence in the room. I whispered, "is anyone here?"

A little boy's voice answered: Hi.

It was a very innocent voice. A lonely voice. He sounded like he was 6 or 7 years old. He wanted to play.

My heart was filled with love, and I began doing the Ananda meditation I did before I went to bed. I imagined a sphere of white light... growing and encompassing the room... filled with Joy and Love.

I had a conversation with the boy. I never saw him though. We talked and I asked him if he ever tried talking to the woman who stayed here (knowing that Terri was superstitious and it might spook her.) The boy said "Yes. sometimes i do try and talk to her." and I told him... "Oh you probably shouldn't do that. she might get scared." He said he wouldn't. He was very obedient.

I asked if he was alone... and he said, "No. My father died with me." I asked how, and he said, "Home Invasion Robbery." I asked if his mother passed, and he said "no."

"Oh that must be hard on your mother," I replied. He acknowledged that with "yes..." He instantly flipped to the positive and said, "But my dad takes me around the world!"

"Oh, how long does it take to go from here to Japan? Can you just imagine it and you're there?"

"It doesn't work like that..." and so went our conversation.

I left the room saying "God Bless," and when I didn't hear a response, I began to wonder, "OMG was I talking to a dark force pretending to be a child???" I left the room... and I was floating in a dark hallway... I was unaware of it in the moment. I moved along it to a place at the end... I passed creatures 20-30 ft tall... glowing and translucent... like Egyptian Gods. I payed no mind. I didn't know where I was... i just knew i was going somewhere...

I returned to the house, to the room where the disembodied boy was... and I asked more sternly "say God Loves you." To my relief he finally said it. But in that moment my mind worked it all out. I had a flash of the movie "Sixth Sense."

I realized - this child... was my child. He was my son. I and he were dead. We died in the Home Invasion Robbery. My wife had been living in her misery in this place... and Terri moved into the house to give my wife company... and Terri was staying in our son's old room. Which had no bed, because it she was no doubt staying on the inflatable mattress.

My son had said, "My dad and I travel the world!" - which would mean I was visiting my daughter in Paris.

I woke up and felt like crying. It was very sad to me.

Whatever is... simply is.

Monthly Afirmation from Ananda: "Whatever is, simply is; I cannot change it for the mere wishing.
Fearlessly, therefore, I accept the truth, knowing that, at the heart of
everything, God’s truth is always good."

It reminds me of A course in Miracle's saying: "I see God in all things, as God is in my mind."

On Twitter: You Are Your Own Guru

I take each message I get in life as Karma and Dharma. Karma as in, there's a reason I get it. Dharma as in, this is a lesson. I don't always do this, but when I am in the NOW moment, I can ingest this in real time as a message.

Today as I woke up I checked my email and a Twitter person had read my call sign: findingmyguru. He sent me a private message: "Btw. you are your own guru."

It's interesting.

Ram Dass said that the difference between a teacher and a guru is that a teacher is pointing to the way, the guru is the Way. Jesus, for example, fits into the Guru figure by his definition as it is said, "I am the Way..."

But I am not that.

I am a seeker. But what is I?

Who am I?

I am not my body.

I am not my thoughts.

I am not my mind.

Could what's left be my guru? Is that the meaning of Namaste, the God in me that is in you? We all have the guru nature?

More then that, is the physical manifestations of someone's Guru simply a projection from this formless state that we all are deep down?

Interview with Ram Dass

I cam across this page, where Ram Dass was interviewed. He was asked how people can find teachers or guru's:

The source webpage:
http://www.iymagazine.org/articles/2011_Winter/ramdass_winter11.html

Quote:

RD: If they want to find a teacher, they must trust their, because everybody who says they are a teacher isn’t necessarily a teacher. I find many people call me “Guruji,” and I say, “Look, you don’t even know the meaning of the word. And I’m not one!” [Laughs] One of the great books that was very influential in my early process was, Autobiography of a Yogi. When I read it, I wasn’t thinking that I was going to be him, but I think that sort of pushed me toward the Eastern way. We’re in a marketplace and having a spiritual life in the marketplace is darn difficult.

It’s not going to be easy for people in the West, but things like this electronic medium [referring to our use of Skype for this interview] are making it easier for oneness to occur. I do Skype calls. People sign up, and I do two a week. They are sitting in their living room and I sit here, and our hearts are open. These things are heart-to-heart. We can go to all spiritual planes, even to the soul. I come away from those calls with my heart fed. I know that those calls are certainly meaningful to those people and to me, and we are approaching the spiritual world through those calls. There are many retreats and festivals around. I remember getting a spiritual hit by going to hear the Grateful Dead. [Laughs]

Refuge in Listening

Several Weeks ago, I had this experience while driving in my car. I was driving home... and vexed with thoughts... then I tuned in to life, and turned off my thoughts. I wrote the experience in my journal. Posting here, in case it's useful for others:

Journal from May 5, 2011:
I had a bit of a great moment tonight when I was driving home. I had a rough day. Work was stressful. It was busy. I learned I had to work the weekend. Just a lot of stuff to bum me out.

So there, I was leaving the job in my car - windows down. Driving home, along Neilson Way in Santa Monica, and I found my thoughts were all over the place. So I began listening. I listened to the sound the cars in the opposite lane made, when they passed me. I tuned into the swish of the air, and the roll of their tires against pavement. Then my attention was brought to a single bird, chirping a tune while perched on a house. Something I probably would have overlooked in the past. But by active listening to the sounds around me, I was tuned into a lot of things I would normally overlook. I began to feel at total peace. I heard a dog bar, people talking, cars driving by, birds chirping. Even in this urban landscape, I was tuned into the living nature of the environment. All the stress from the day was gone. All worries of the future were gone.

When I heard the bird, I didn't make it into a thought object. I didn't think "oh there's a bird on a house, doing this or that.." instead I just took it in, without any judgment good or bad. The same with all the sounds. I just observed. In this observation I came to peace in the moment.

Manny years ago, when I took Buddhist vows, my Lama told us that the word Dharma meant several things for a Buddhist. For a Buddhist it could reference spiritual teachings. It could also refer to 'everything.' We also learned about Refuge. To a Buddhist, the Dharma is a refuge object. A place one can find peace. Through listening, I found the present Dharma. Through observing it, I took refuge in it.

I began to feel that the sounds of my environment woke me up to the living dharma around me, and in that process I was taking refuge. Not through some outward ritual, or sitting meditation - but simply in awakening to the present moment.

To put it simply, I felt good, listening to the world around me. It brought me peace to sit and listen and observe life, as I drove home.

Harold Camping

Everyone is writing about this guy, so I thought I might as well.

But instead of satire, jokes or puns... I do respect the man and his followers. It's easy to criticize others for believing differently then we do. It's harder to see ourselves in Harold Camping.

I heard, through a friend, that a co-worker of his followed Harold Camping. This past week, this co-worker quit his job and relocated to Arizona (awaiting the End.)

Some may laugh, but this guy has something most of us don't. Adventure. The only problem, it's very short lived. When the 22nd comes, he'll be out of a job, depressed and hit what some call the Belief Crisis. I feel compassion for this unknown man, and I feel an admiration at the same time.

It reminded me of when I was in Scientology. Despite all the things that drove me leave Scientology - it WAS an adventure. The sense of adventure is vacant in most Western Beliefs. Here in the West, orthodox religion is mostly spoon fed. We ingest something that is 'safe' and easy.

In Scientology you had the past life regression... and then the actual Church itself. Both of these were adventures... whether it was reliving a past life, or running from the long arms of the Church - there was adventure there. The author of Blown for Good, talks about how much he hated Scientology, but without it - he couldn't have written the book he did. He couldn't have had the adventure he had.

But back to Harold Camping... was he a fool? Where people who followed him fools? No. Not to me. I don't know what Harold is. As far as I know he could be a High being, and I just don't see it, because my Karma paints him to be a little old man with tall tales. As for his followers, they got an adventure (as short lived as it was) and should be happy for the experience.

Is Harold Camping a guru? Not mine. His views and mine don't mesh. He's hung up on an old paradigm of sexual repression and egotism. Or so it appears to me, when I view him from my Karma based perception.

But some people have (and no doubt will continue) to see him as a High being. To each their own. We're all on our own trip. So love them, baby. Love them for who they are, and what they believe.

A link on finding a Guru...

I came across this tonight... a lot of good, level headed advice:
http://www.kriyayoga.com/english/on_your_wings/searchforguru.htm

Some good quotes from that link:

"If God is your only Guru, then all you need to do is to really and immediately accept all God's guidance to progress the smoothest and fastest path of Love to your freedom in God."

"If you allow your intellect to calculate distance, travel expenses and similar factors - then you have lost your search for a Guru before it even started."

Meditation

Tonight I sat in meditation for only 15 min. I kept it short. I sat in a chair, back straight, hands turned up on my legs. eyes closed. headphones on with binural beats and white noise to drown out the sounds around me (tv mostly.)

As I sat in this position... I felt an enormous amount of heat being generated in my body. I began to sweat. I figited 5 times in 15 min. I found my hands upturned was annoying me. The tension in my legs was hard to hold. I'd start to get beads of sweat, and I'd break concentration and move.

My mind was going to the man and people who followed the belief in the rapture tomorrow. I kept thinking "what if it's true?" So I made a prayer to Jesus - got that fear out of the way, and began meditating again.

Chill Out

While walking around town today, I had moments of frustration. In fact I was upset all morning. I was upset because I had to drive my wife to a Dr. visit, and we were running late. I was upset because traffic wasn't agreeing with me. I was upset because people would just get in my way and slow me down.

I was taking a break today and as I entered a store, a guy said, "Hey man, want a free sample?" As he said that he shoved a can in my hand. It was some drink, about the size of a red bull, but instead of being an energy drink - it promised relaxation. It was called "Chill Out."

It even said some comment about "enlightenment" on the can.

Life has a lot of messages for everyone. I just need to open my eyes to the ones for me.

I went searching today...

I went on my search for The Guru... My Guru. I heard that there was a Hindu based spiritual center in Santa Monica, on Main St. I happened to be in the area... and I double checked Google.com, which in deed showed this group: Ananada-LA to be on Main St. But when I went there, it was no longer at that location. Instead a smoke shop had taken it's place.

Discouraged, I walked on and found I was close to Hill House in Santa Monica. Although I've never been, I've heard of it. In the local Starbucks there was a advertisement for some groups meeting at Hill House (on Hill St. in Santa Monica.) I walked there. It wasn't far. Just up the street, across from a Latin based Baptist church and next to a Lutheran church. An older woman and man were cleaning up around the place, and I inquired about their calendar. But they had no real calendar of events. Just a board with notes of things going on. I checked the board and nothing rang out to me.

Again I was discouraged.

But then I recalled something. Earlier, while I was walking along this trek, I met a beggar. He was sitting on a wall. I was being stupid and tried to ignore him and move quickly past him. But my wife held me back. While I slowed down and neared this fellow. He smiled and asked, "Excuse me. Can you understand my sign?"

I was upset. At first I was angry. I felt pissed off. I was like "Of course I can read." I felt like it was a confrontation to get money from me. But I didn't read the sign. I glanced at it. He had a lot going on with that little sign. He had written all over it.

My wife's heart opened and she said, "Oh, give him something." I felt happy to give at that time, and I pulled out a dollar and give it to the man. He had the sweetest smile. It was just a dollar, but he turned to me and said, "Bless you! Bless you on this three day weekend." It wasn't a three day weekend. But I got his meaning. Then I realized something, I hadn't read his sign.

The Dharma, is all around. It's messages constantly reaching out to us. I missed an opportunity to take this in. Next time, I'll try not to be in my head, and be in the present moment. Then I'll be more aware to read the signs in life. Both the literal and figurative signs.