Last week was very tough and challenging.
It started with work related stress. But then I had some personal challenges. The first challenge was Wed. morning and I prayed and prayed and was able to overcome the challenge without any problems.
Thursday, I had a major release. I prayed and offered it up to Master Yogananda. As he said: your effort is 25%, the guru's effort is 25% and God is 50%. So I tried to do my best with this release we were doing at work. I prayed that Guru and God would take care of everything else.
The release went very well. I was doing fine. But in the afterglow of the success at work, I got material minded. I started thinking of a possible bonus from my job.... heard I might get one, and started mentally spending the money before i even had it. I was going through websites looking for cameras... spending hours looking and researching different cameras... and i put my spiritual life on the back burner Thursday night, Friday.
Then, Friday, my wife told me about a bill that came in... due to a mistake on my part, I had a bill that's now 3 times normal. It upset me so much, that I flipped out and started screaming about the bill.
Later, I went to bed and my wife yelled at me for coming to bed late. Then I just walked out of the bedroom and tried to sleep in the living room. I was so angry. So upset.
I went into a quick and deep depression. I just felt like my life was so messed up that everytime i want something i find i can't afford it. I became self absorbed and then apathetic. My saturday was like a dream. I felt so depressed and unconnected to everything.
But by Sat. night I felt better. What I did was piece this weekend back to the source of my problems. It all started with materialism. When I fell into a situation, I didn't use any tools or meditate or try to be rational... I flipped out. That was because I was weak: due to not meditating and thinking only of this camera.
But come Sat evening I got my mind back into a positive situation. I made lunch for my wife and felt better. I think making meals for my wife was what helped me. It got me to stop thinking of my own situation.
I did develope a migraine later. not sure if it was related.
It started with work related stress. But then I had some personal challenges. The first challenge was Wed. morning and I prayed and prayed and was able to overcome the challenge without any problems.
Thursday, I had a major release. I prayed and offered it up to Master Yogananda. As he said: your effort is 25%, the guru's effort is 25% and God is 50%. So I tried to do my best with this release we were doing at work. I prayed that Guru and God would take care of everything else.
The release went very well. I was doing fine. But in the afterglow of the success at work, I got material minded. I started thinking of a possible bonus from my job.... heard I might get one, and started mentally spending the money before i even had it. I was going through websites looking for cameras... spending hours looking and researching different cameras... and i put my spiritual life on the back burner Thursday night, Friday.
Then, Friday, my wife told me about a bill that came in... due to a mistake on my part, I had a bill that's now 3 times normal. It upset me so much, that I flipped out and started screaming about the bill.
Later, I went to bed and my wife yelled at me for coming to bed late. Then I just walked out of the bedroom and tried to sleep in the living room. I was so angry. So upset.
I went into a quick and deep depression. I just felt like my life was so messed up that everytime i want something i find i can't afford it. I became self absorbed and then apathetic. My saturday was like a dream. I felt so depressed and unconnected to everything.
But by Sat. night I felt better. What I did was piece this weekend back to the source of my problems. It all started with materialism. When I fell into a situation, I didn't use any tools or meditate or try to be rational... I flipped out. That was because I was weak: due to not meditating and thinking only of this camera.
But come Sat evening I got my mind back into a positive situation. I made lunch for my wife and felt better. I think making meals for my wife was what helped me. It got me to stop thinking of my own situation.
I did develope a migraine later. not sure if it was related.
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